When You Feel Trapped, and Life Feels Heavy

We all go through seasons in our lives that are more difficult than others. Times when momentum fades, when everything seems to require more effort. Sometimes, these moments stretch on and begin to make us feel as though there is no way out, no space left to breathe. If this is how you’re feeling at this exact moment in your life, I invite you to keep reading. This text is written for you. Today.

I went through a similar period not so long ago. A turbulent time, marked by working relentlessly, living pay cheque to pay cheque, and learning—sometimes harshly—how to manage anxiety. A time when every step forward felt like hitting a wall, forcing me two or three steps back. There were moments when courage was nowhere to be found. When the idea of giving up took over. What’s the point, I kept telling myself. I felt like a victim of my own life… and I acted accordingly. I was convinced I no longer had any control, condemned to endure whatever life placed in my path.

Do you recognize yourself in these thoughts? In these emotions?

Taking Care of Yourself Is Not a Luxury

When life turns into a whirlwind, when everything feels like it’s spinning out of control inside, one thing becomes essential—even if it feels counterintuitive: taking care of yourself. If you’re someone who still sees self-care as selfishness or a sign of weakness, remember this familiar airplane safety instruction: in case of emergency, you must put on your own oxygen mask before helping others. Without air, you can’t support anyone.

Taking care of yourself can take many forms: moving your body, slowing down, sleeping, eating well, getting a massage, allowing yourself small pleasures, choosing silence. Whatever it looks like for you, what matters is recognizing what truly helps you recharge. It’s from that place that decisions become clearer, fairer, more aligned.

I say this because I’ve lived it: lack of sleep affects mood, appetite, clarity. It isolates us, pulls us away from others out of fear of being seen in our vulnerability. Sleeping, eating, hydrating, being around other people—these are basic human needs. It’s no coincidence that these are precisely the ones targeted when someone seeks to break another human being. So why do we impose this kind of deprivation on ourselves, outside of any extreme circumstance? It’s a question worth asking.

Stepping Out of Survival Mode

Giving myself time—even if it was simply to sleep—allowed me to regain not only physical strength, but also mental clarity and a sense of inner grounding. I stopped making decisions in crisis mode, in quick-fix mode. I began choosing with a longer-term perspective, rooted in my values.

If your situation feels increasingly hopeless today, I gently invite you to resist the urge to patch things up at all costs. To give yourself space to think. To listen. More often than not, the heart already holds part of the answer… but we refuse to hear it.

The Mechanisms That Protect Us—and Trap Us

This refusal to listen is often fueled by fear, as well as by the defence mechanisms we’ve developed over time to survive. Maybe staying constantly busy has become a way to avoid being alone with yourself. Maybe alcohol, substances, or other dependencies help numb a pain you believe you’ll never be able to ease. Maybe playing the role of the victim feels safer, because it attracts help and spares you from making difficult choices.

Whatever mechanism you’re relying on today—I say this with kindness—none of them are sustainable in the long run. And all of them eventually affect your health, as well as the well-being of those around you.

Learning to Live with Fear Instead of Running from It

Facing pain and fear can be terrifying. I know. Fear feeds the imagination, creates worst-case scenarios, and intensifies anxiety. Yet, with hindsight, I can say this: the scenarios I feared most rarely came to pass. And more often than not, reality surprised me—and brought relief.

I also learned to see my fears differently. To view them as clumsy guardians, playing the role of the devil’s advocate. By acknowledging them this way, I was able to prepare better, think more clearly, without handing them the steering wheel of my life.

This Moment Does Not Define You

Today, I can tell you that I made it through that difficult period. It changed me. It rooted me more deeply, aligned me more closely with my values, and helped me feel steadier on my feet. Most of all, it taught me not to define myself by obstacles, but by my ability to rise again.

What you’re going through right now is only a chapter—not your entire story. It is not a reflection of what’s still to come, nor of the deeply precious person you are.

Resource

Mental Health Services in New Brunswick

Sometimes, life tightens around us to the point where we feel completely immobilized. Yet even when we’re wedged between two walls, the horizon still exists.