Does Time Really Heal All Wounds? A Reflection on Forgiveness

There are moments in life that naturally invite us to pause. Moments when we step back and look at the path we’ve travelled, the events that shaped it, the choices we made — or avoided. These pauses, whether chosen or imposed, often influence the intentions we carry forward. (Let’s be honest: most of us hold, somewhere deep within, at least one quiet resolution, even if it’s never spoken aloud.)

For me, these slower moments lead me to reflect not only on my own journey, but also on the lives of those around me. For some time now, one question has kept returning: that of forgiveness, and the role time plays — or doesn’t play — in that process.

When the Body Remembers

I’ve previously shared, in a piece about anxiety, that I went through a deeply traumatic period following a separation. For many years, certain times of the year would stir a vague sense of apprehension, a discomfort that was hard to put into words — despite the therapy I pursued and the coping strategies I put in place. Curiously, this tension coexisted with genuine enthusiasm at the start of the holiday season, only to give way to an inner heaviness, sometimes accompanied by subtle but very real physical symptoms.

It wasn’t until much later that I began to feel a true shift in how my body and mind moved through those same periods.

Some people spoke to me about cellular memory — the idea that the body holds onto traces of our most significant experiences, both joyful and painful. From this perspective, past wounds continue to surface long after the event itself, embedded somewhere within our inner selves. It’s an intriguing hypothesis. Perhaps some experiences do leave deeper imprints than we realize. But since the heart of this reflection is forgiveness, I won’t linger further on that debate.

Forgiveness, Far from Grand Revelations

I was also told about trauma, letting go, and acceptance. More rarely was forgiveness mentioned — except perhaps in certain spiritual contexts. Like many people, I’ve had to forgive those who hurt me. And like any human being, I’ve also had to ask for forgiveness for the pain I may have caused others.

For a long time, I believed forgiveness had to be experienced as something powerful and immediate, almost spectacular — a sudden release, a wave of relief. But my experience was entirely different. On several occasions in my life, forgiveness arrived quietly. One day, I simply realized there was no longer any anger, no sorrow, no resentment. Nothing.

In some cases, I encountered these people again after a long period without contact. Of course, there was a slight awkwardness, a natural distance. But inside, everything was calm. No animosity. Even more surprising: I genuinely wished them well. The expression a lot of water has flowed under the bridge suddenly took on its full meaning.

I had imagined countless scenarios over the years. And yet, when faced with reality, what remained was an unexpected sense of peace. Almost a revelation.

What Time Does, Gently

We often say that time heals all wounds. The phrase may sound cliché, but I now believe there is a real connection between time and forgiveness. For a long time, I wished, asked, and sometimes even prayed for the strength to forgive — or simply to stop carrying those heavy feelings within me. And yet, forgiveness didn’t appear as a goal to be reached. It arrived quietly, along the way, without warning, without my even noticing.

What I remember most is the sense of wonder that followed. That inner question: When did this happen? And that clear, almost luminous feeling: wow…

I don’t have a definitive answer as to how forgiveness settles within us.

Others may be better equipped to explain it. But I deeply believe that when a person is guided by sincere intention — the desire not to remain in conflict, not to feed resentment — things eventually begin to realign. Sometimes it takes time, space, and even support. But forgiveness, just like being forgiven, remains possible.

When it is truly desired.

Sometimes, forgiveness doesn’t show itself through a grand gesture, but through that quiet space where hands open—without expectation or restraint.