The Inner Solitude of Leadership

I have recently been suffering from a particular syndrome, which I have experienced before in my career, but never in such a pronounced way. Often associated with the ivory tower syndrome of the leader, it refers to that feeling sometimes difficult to name: that of being alone when one exercises a leadership role.

This loneliness is particularly felt during periods of major organizational transformation—which I am currently experiencing—or when faced with important strategic decisions. It also arises when there is no genuine support group in one's network, composed of leaders experiencing similar realities, or of people capable of offering empathetic listening.

As a woman in a CEO role, I don't find this solitude difficult, even if it's more pronounced lately. I would even say I consider it necessary. And, in many ways, healthy.

Learning to Embrace Solitude in Order to Know Oneself Better

According to Geneviève Desautels, consultant, certified coach, and president of Amplio Stratégies and Univers Interactif, it is essential to embrace solitude , as it is an integral part of the leadership role. She emphasizes that a leader's motivation must be intrinsic—and, in my opinion, this inevitably involves a deep understanding of oneself.

Taking on a leadership role simply to please others is, in the long run, a dead end. It's impossible to please everyone. I myself have suffered from this syndrome—and, to be honest, I still have to fight it. It's a behavior learned very early on, deeply ingrained.

Building self-confidence is essential. But knowing your values and purpose is just as important: it helps us understand what drives us… and what holds us back. Simon Sinek 's famous "Find your why" resonates strongly with me as I write these lines.

Before going any further, I would like to clarify that I am talking here about chosen moments of solitude , and not about the feeling of isolation that can sometimes set in.

Solitude as a Space for Reflection and Introspection

Solitude offers me a space to step back from complex situations. It allows me to observe them from different angles, to better understand what personally affected me, and to analyze my reactions.

It also gives me the opportunity to correct my course. On several occasions, I have gone back to people to explain the reasons for my reactions, and apologized when I felt I had reacted rather than acted.

For me, solitude acts as a moment of meditation and deep introspection. It allows me to recharge my energy and refocus.

There are also more "hidden" reasons for my appreciation of solitude. Being in pajamas or sweatpants, a toque on my head, rather than dressed up, with my hair done and makeup on—what a relief! It's also in these moments that I dedicate myself to what I love: reading, writing, escaping.

Recently, a former colleague confided in me, with a touch of astonishment, that he didn't understand how I found the time to do everything. The truth is simple: writing is an outlet for me. Just like physical activity or any other hobby. Publishing every Sunday certainly requires discipline and consistency, but this practice is above all a foundation—a step closer to a childhood dream: to write a book, one day.

But to write, I need silence. A bubble. Solitude.

Between Leadership, Family and Human Realities

As a working mother, these moments to myself are precious. Balancing work and personal life is already a challenge, without adding the guilt that often accompanies it. Telling your children that you need time for yourself is never easy.

This is probably where I feel the loneliness of leadership most intensely: when my head is overflowing, when I need to clear my mind, but I also need to be fully present for my family. These realities don't always mesh harmoniously.

Nevertheless, I remain confident. With the return of these little rituals that help me catch my breath, I'm finding the motivation to go for walks before dinner—sometimes alone, sometimes with company. These simple moments allow me to disconnect from work, appreciate nature, and recharge my batteries for the evening.

The loneliness of a leader can be explained by multiple factors. It manifests itself when one tries to reconcile work and personal life—for example, when a child is sick at home. It is also felt when one is confronted with behaviors or decisions that are not rooted in shared values.

This reality is difficult to navigate. We cannot impose our values on others; we can only embody them and explain why they are important to us. The moments when I have felt truly isolated are often linked to a misunderstanding of another person's behavior or values.

Finally, there is a very particular kind of loneliness when you're a leader in a small community. Here, we're not talking about six degrees of separation, but rather one—or two, at most. (I write this with a smile.) Feeling alone while surrounded by people you know is paradoxical, but possible, when trust, connection, and shared values are lacking.

I conclude by emphasizing the importance of support from loved ones in alleviating this syndrome of loneliness among leaders. This support, expressed through countless small gestures or simple words of encouragement, has immense value.

To those who support a leader, sometimes without knowing it: thank you.

The Quiet Strength of Chosen Solitude.